Domestic Abuse and Violence is a Reality in our Community

It happens in our Community. We don't like to think that it does, don't like to believe that it does, don't like to talk about it and often do our best to silence those who would tell us otherwise. We like to believe that if we are sincere followers of Christ, that we are immune from those problems and trials to which marriages in the World seem to be prone.

But it happens. Some Brothers speak on the platform of the Love of Christ, while beating their wives at home. Some Sisters remain mute in the company of fellow Christadelphians, but verbally injure and humiliate their husbands in private. Some Brothers participate in the Bible Class, then rape their wives on their return. Some Sisters teach Sunday School, but emotionally manipulate and distance their husbands and children.

It is generally estimated that in countries such as the UK or the USA one in four women will experience domestic violence at some point in their lives. There are assumed to be less male victims of domestic abuse, but those that suffer, are that much more likely to do so in silence. Sadly there are good reasons to believe that within our community, the percentage of Brothers and Sisters affected is no lower than in society generally, and in some parts of Christadelphia, may even be higher.

The following article gives a brief oversight of domestic abuse issues, some of the effects and possible causes as well as some suggestions for helping a friend or family member involved in an abusive relationship:

• Domestic Abuse - an overview

There are many reasons a Brother or Sister may remain silent about the abuse they are or have suffered. Victims of abuse will feel a lot of shame about the abuse and feel shameful in themselves, as though they are in some way faulty human beings. They may fear not being believed - which can add to the damage and pain already experienced. Christian victims of abuse often feel even more trapped and hopeless within an abusive relationship than non-believers due to their conviction that it is sinful to end a marriage, this proving often a greater obstacle to leaving the relationship and ending the abuse than the reasons experienced by nearly all victims of abuse, such as monetary hurdles, lack of options, the love for the abusive partner or the sense of responsibility felt for their actions and the abuse itself. The following is an example of some of the spiritual hurdles faced by a Sister in an abusive relationship:

• Spiritual obstacles to ending an abusive relationship

We tend to think vaguely that we know what the Bible says about violence in generally, after all, we are the People of the Word. But what does God say about verbal abuse? Or sexual abuse? The following is a brief overview of just some of the Scriptural passages applicable to abuse and violence issues:

• The Bible on Abuse and Violence

If we suspect that a member of our ecclesia or family is suffering abuse, how can we know? And how can we respond in a way which will support the victim? The following articles gives a few guidelines and suggestions for helping in a Domestic Abuse situation without taking over and further denying the victim the ability and right to chose what is best for him or her:

• Supporting a Domestic Abuse Victim

General Information on Domestic Abuse

For general information on Domestic Abuse, please check out the main sections of my Domestic Abuse Information and Support Site at www.hiddenhurt.co.uk .

Apart from the general information, there is a section looking at specific issues faced by Christan abuse victims and survivors under Religion & Abuse.

Related Sites by Christadelphians

• Abuse - A Christadelphian Response - A Christadelphian Abuse Information page by the Christadelphian Support Services in NSW, Australia. Brief but to the point.

Other Christian Related Sites

• ABC's of abuse - a very thorough list of "Things to watch for" (not a diagnostic tool) which may indicate that abuse is occuring in a child or adult that is unable to care for themselves. Part of the SURVIVORS OF SPIRITUAL ABUSE (SOSA) website.


• Some Biblical Thoughts on Physical, Sexual, and Verbal Abuse - written by Catherine C. Kroeger, and part of the Christians for Biblical Equality website. A comprehensive list of scriptural verses which address violence and abuse and surrounding issues.


• A Commentary on Religious Issues in Family Violence - written by Rev. Marie M. Fortune. An in-depth look at some of the issues facing victims of abuse and their Church leaders. Approaches from both Jewish and Christian perspectives. A must-read for anyone concerned with Domestic Abuse from a religious and spiritual angle.